"your love story needs to have a lot of lonely crying in it"

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Reasons Not To Get Love Advice from Don Miller

Christian author Don Miller likes to talk about how your life ought to be a compelling story, one that's going somewhere, has a purpose, has real ups and downs, isn't stagnant, etc. There's a lot of truth to that — if your life doesn't make for an interesting story, are you really making the most of it?

Recently, though, he must have taken a page out of Mark Driscoll's Handbook because his suggestions to men and women for how to create a "good love story" were appalling.

For example, he told women that they should never hook up.

… when your husband finds out you were the "hook up" girl he's going to have to have a lot of grace, which is fine, it just puts you in the category of "charity" in his mind and not "equal" or "partner." He may still love you, but he will have serious questions about whether you're in the kind of shape it takes to run a marathon. Unless you get over it and move on and do a period of time where you put it all behind you, he will and honestly should lose respect for you…

Because any woman who's had sex before (without "getting over it") isn't worthy of complete respect…

Because, I guess, it's not possible to have sex with someone you have no intention of marrying and come away from it perfectly fine.

Because all men have a problem dating women who hooked up with guys in the past?

He also told women they had to "be willing to suffer."

What this means for you is that your love story needs to have a lot of lonely crying in it. Believe it or not, there will come a day when a man will fall madly in love with you and you will have the honor of sitting down with him one special night to explain that, while you weren't perfect, you turned down plenty of guys and and cried yourself to sleep hoping somebody would come around and treat you with respect. He will be honored by this, and he will love you and feel humbled. If he doesn't have the same story, he will feel intensely convicted and unworthy. You'll really be giving him the foundation he needs to love your heart.

What the fuck…?

So, women, now you know what it takes to find a good man: Never have any physical fun growing up (you non-abstinent slutty slut slut) and start bawling about all those men in your past who had no respect for you. (Apparently, there's no possible circumstance in which two perfectly decent people, with active sexual histories, just decide the relationship isn't working out and part ways.)

So what's the advice for men? Same stuff, right?

Not ...

B Herr