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Michelle Bachmann is running for president on a pro-slavery, anti-porn platform?
I saw this headline about Bachmann signing some pledge calling for the ban of pornography. I thought, "Well, she just lost half her base." Then I read the complete pledge and found that it is full of far more disturbing amazing language than just the porn reference.
For example, it binds the signer to oppose Sharia Law, because you know, that's a huge threat in America right now. I recalled that I stopped buying hot dogs from the halal food cart outside my office because it always came with a side of Sharia Law, and don't you just hate when Sharia Law spills all over your shoes? It's so irritating!
The pledge also refers to something it calls "the intimate innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy." This is the pledge-writers' way of saying "children." The "intimate fruit of conjugal intimacy" sounds like something an alien race studying humanity might say because where they come from, there is no such thing as sex. Here on planet Earth, we do have sex, and lots of it. Sometimes sex results in "children," which is a word we have, also here on Earth.
The pledge was drafted by a group calling itself, "THE FAMiLY LEADER." Yes, they purposefully do not capitalize the "i" in the name, which is infuriating on a whole different level.
For the moment, let's set aside the absurdity of having presidential candidates sign any pledge other than upholding the Constitution and get to my favorite part.
B Herr
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